sadness

if you just notice as we

travel back and forth to the mental hospital

behind my sleepless yellow eyes near to bloodshot,

flickering sight, shivering  nerves and epidermis,

the shaking fingers as it holds the murderous cigarette

and my lip decaying from its nicotine, the taste of gin

in my tasteless throat  and speech  becoming incoherent;

the burden of knowing what life and death are all about

and carrying it on my four year old suspended wings ——-

your god, my devil, that angel, those whores, this love between us;

i was just 1/4 of a shadow away from you anyway…

the chemical burning sensation running down my bloodstream

and the wasted body caved in to its druggy effects,

sandwhiched paranoias and the poetry of having a bit

of insight  of who you are; all of these and of nothing and

not of everything and of everything and not of nothing

and behind it all, my soul leaped and st. vitus’ danced around you…

if you just notice anything at all…still i wouldn’t  care that much

just read the title backwards, maybe you’ll find your name

now already tied all over my veins.

 

from ” deviationcummeditation”

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